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Be a safe adult for a child or young person

Any form of sexual or sexualised activity with a child is abuse. This can involve physical contact or non-contact activities, such as exposing a child to pornography. 

As an adult, it is important that you are a safe person in the lives of children and young people so that they know who they can turn to when they feel unsafe. 

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, anywhere,
including at home, at school, online or at sport.

Adults need to be aware of what is going on in the lives of the children around them. They need to make sure they’re not distracted when a child or young person comes to them with a concern. And they need to act when they are told about anything happening that is making the child or young person feel unsafe.

Acting may involve stepping in yourself. But it may also require a call to police or the Strong Families Safe Kids Advice and Referral Line (ARL) on 1800 000 123. Find out more about the ARL.

Below are some tips to help adults see below the surface.

Get help now

For an emergency where there is immediate risk of harm or a crime is happening now, contact police on 000

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Where a crime may have been committed, contact police on 131 444 or Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000

For advice or to refer an abuse matter, contact the Advice and Referral Line (ARL) on 1800 000 123

Spot the signs

Most children who are being sexually abused don’t tell anyone about it at the time. So it’s important to look out for signs. You might notice changes in their behaviour, mood and appearance, or be concerned about the behaviour of someone around them.

These changes don’t always mean that a child is being sexually abused. But it’s best to reach out for support if you have concerns as there may be other things going on for the child or young person like bullying, anxiety or health concerns. And these signs may not always be present. Scroll down to learn about the importance of talking regularly with a child and some tips on how to make these talks count.

For parents or carers, having regular talks about relationships, sex and consent in an age-appropriate way with the child can help protect them from sexual abuse.

 

Sexualised language or behaviour
Are they using sexual language or exhibiting sexual behaviour you wouldn’t expect them to know about or understand?

Secretive
Have they become secretive about their phone or internet use, where they are going or who they are with?

Are they being guarded and avoiding giving you information about their activities?

Asking for money
Have they started asking for amounts of money without clear reason?

Toilet habits
Are they using the toilet more frequently, or mentioning pain or discomfort when using the toilet?

Do they have unexpected urine stains or blood in their underwear not related to a period?

Bed wetting and nightmares
Are they having nightmares or started wetting the bed?

Are they over tired, restless or on their phone late at night?

Scared
Have you noticed they are frightened of, or try to avoid being alone with, a person or people they know?

Eating habits
Have they changed their eating habits?

Are they refusing to eat or overeating?

Self harm
Are they hurting themselves physically?

Talking with a child: Listen and don't judge

It is very difficult for children who have been sexually abused to put into words what has happened. They might feel scared, they might feel ashamed, or it is possible they might not recognise that what has happened to them is abuse.

It is important to simply listen.

Don’t interrupt the child while they talk. Take your time, don’t judge and don’t rush to ‘fix’ things. This will help the child feel safe enough to talk.

Having regular talks about relationships, sex and consent in an age-appropriate way with your child can help protect them from sexual abuse.

Speaking to the child about the possible risks can help them understand how to stay safe online and offline. If they feel they can tell you anything, you can help to protect them from abuse.